YOU DA MAN 1999
Champion: Paul "Sluz" Sluzarz
The 8th annual You Da Man was yet again a tremendous success. The weather was great, the food was great, the beer was plentiful, and the golf wasn't too bad either. But all of these things combined take a distant second to the camaraderie enjoyed by good friends. When I tell friends in other circles what we have going here, they are amazed. They are actually envious, for they have nothing like it to compare. Some of us only see each other once a year, but it's as if we all were still back in college. We have to keep it going. What's this? T getting sentimental? T getting soft? NOT!!! ---------------------------------------------- Every year a lot of interesting exchanges occur between the attendees at You Da Man. Sometimes it's difficult to remember the tidbits from conversations, and funny situations over a three day period. I think it's because we have fewer and fewer brain cells to work with as each year passes. However, with a lot of help, we always manage to collect enough quotes to permanently record some of the memories. But how do you determine the top ten? It's simple really. The top ten committee meets at least one week after the You Da Man weekend to read over the quotes. Chuckle meters and other scientific devices are used to record the committee members response to the quotes. And the rankings are made. Among the noteables this year include: "Get away from me Freddy or I'm going to lay you out" - Joe Shiber after threatening remarks from Freddy. "Check out the new stainless walls at the gaff" -someone to Monk. "That's so they can wash the blood off easily" - Monk's response "Hey there's sand" -Sluz , sarcastically, after finding himself in a bunker on the blue course. Obviously referring to the disappointing condition of the White Course bunkers. "Hey there's sand"-Sluz again after hitting in his second bunker on the Blue. "Hey there's sand" -Sluz again, and again, and...How many bunkers were you in anyway? "Nobody wants to do after hours this year." -Beth lamenting to T early Saturday evening. -"Who doesn't want to do after hours? That's now at 7...at 2 AM everybody will say yes"-Exasperated response from T. "I thought it was next weekend" -Nosal after showing up Saturday 15 minutes before tee times. "If the police showed up then they should have a lifetime exemption to You Da Man" -Ace commenting on the incident outside the Gaff. ------------------------------------------------------------- And here it is! Hopefully with plenty to offend everyone. From the home office in State College, PA ... the Top Ten things overheard at the 1999 You Da Man weekend: _______________________________________ THE TOP TEN: -------------------- 10. "Mulch, you won't have a net 95 on Saturday" -Pood to Mulch after reviewing his surprising score on Friday at the White course. 9. "Busto, this green is slick...It's like putting on marble" -Pood to Busto before he hit his 20 foot putt only 7 feet. 8. "Our team was sta... I mean smokin" -V-Bag to T and Dano while excitedly explaining how his team won all the team events on Friday at the White course. 7. "How does the zoom lens on the camera work?"-Mulch's wife Cindy to anyone listening while taking the Babes group picture in front of the banner. Beth's response: "Take two steps forward". 6. "I was either under trees or digging holes for trees!" -Monk explaining his round to Pood. 5. "She was still drunk on the ride home" -Champion Sluz to Pood referring to wife Julie. 4. "New rule: NO TEQUILLA!!!" -Rules committee on Thursday night. 3. "Monk, do you get arrested throughout the year while here at Penn State or just when we show up for You Da Man?" -Rick's greeting to Monk on the first tee on Friday. Monk was later heard muttering: "He didn't even say Hi first". 2. "Chances are if she (Julie) would have seen your ass, she never would have asked you to dance!" -Leslie to Monk ( About mooning Sluz). 1. "Men gravitate to my wife" -Champion Sluz to Rick at the Gaff. --------------------------------------- And now for some stories, too long for quotes, but too funny to leave out: ---------- *As told by the champion, Sluz, a quote not spoken: As Todd was getting ready to tee off on #3, I was going to tell him that it was possible to hit the water tower with a bad shot. I decided not to tell him so he would not be thinking about it. He had a great drive down to the bottom of the hill. I promptly stepped up to the tee, pulled a drive to the left, hit a tree, then heard a loud boing. ( I may have double bogeyed that hole but, oh, I still won). ---------- * As told by V-Bag: I don't know if there was a printable quote in there somewhere, but "Sluz Da Man" used each and every curse word known to man after 3-putting #12 from 8 feet. He then proceeded to throw his club, smash a cup of water against the water cooler, and soak our two guests (Todd & Joe) in the process. I was relieving myself at the time, and when I returned I inquired to Sluz whether or not he made the putt. To this question he screamed every curse word once again. (The sad thing is...he STILL WON!!) ---------- *As told by "You Not Da Man" Mulch: We were all down in the Skeller after that fateful saturday on the Blue course. Everyone was replaying their favorite holes...where they missed that critical putt...where they were when Sluz Da Man hit the water tower..(I was on the Grassy Knoll). I was holding my favorite pitcher. Ace asked how the rest of the Mulch foursome fared. I said that everyone except for T had added 10 strokes to their game from Friday. I said that I thought my poor play may have affected the others in my foursome. To that Ace laughed and said: "You Not Da Man is a cancer to his team...first he infects your swing...then he infects your chipping... then your putting...until it's all over!" ---------- *Also told by"You Not Da Man" Mulch: Sunday morning 9:31 am in room 221, Julie slid out of the bathroom and plopped down on the bed next to Sluz Da Man. The room was pitch black in keeping with the Sluz Da Man tradition of not seeing the sun prior to 10:00 in State College. (This tradition goes back to 1983 when Sluz was still a freshman). Astounded by the condition of their room, Julie scanned from the doorway to the bed. Peering over beer cans, several bags of opened snacks, several pieces of dirty underwear, the jumbled/broken lamp that Monk bounced a few times, and the You Da Man trophy. Julie looked down on the floor by the desklamp, and something suddenly caught her eye. Slowly she reached down and picked up one of her shoes with both hands. Squinting, she put her nose almost to the sole of her shoe and said: "Where the #%!!@&
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