ydm-1996

YOU DA MAN 1996

The "You Da Man" Grand Masters Past and Present. Sandbaggers, all of them.

Champion: Mike "Ranger" Day

Top Ten Things overheard at the 1996 You Da Man
--------------------------------------------------------
10. Doo be doo be doo....
9. Give me that last mushroom!
8. Let's go get stickies!
7. "FFUUCKKK!" Mike the "Ranger" hit by ball on driving range
during You Da Man tournament playoff
6. They are waiting for us.....They are coming after us!
5. Who made these tee times !?!
4. "Oh Sorry" (Monk said to a sleepy Day's Inn patron at 6am
after knocking on wrong door)
3. "How much will it cost to make you go away?" Tom to the Day's
Inn night clerk during after hours.
2. Show me your tits!
1. Can't we all just get along!?!

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	This was truly a "banner" year as the 5th annual "You Da Man" weekend at Penn State was held June 13 thru 16, 1996. Accommodations were again graciously provided by the Day's Inn, whose management apparently learned from last years' blunder as there were no "featured guests" awarded an upgrade to a suite (i.e. "Monk" in 1995). Thursday night saw the arrival of about 18 "You Da Man" and You Da Babe hopefuls who spent most of the evening enjoying a few casual cocktails at the Gaff. Among the notables were Dano & Val (recently engaged) all the way from sunny California. "Busto" & Leanne who missed last year's Thursday night due to their expectancy. And "Weatherman" back for his second year. After several pitchers and a few liars poker games, the Rules Committee held its traditional pre tourney meeting. "Sammy", after missing last year's event, was in attendance for his first ever Rules Committee proceedings. He was quite impressed by the efficiency in which the issues were discussed, and the finality of the many decisions made (yeah, right!!). The night ended rather abruptly with the barkeepers literally sweeping us off the floor. "T-Bag" and Beth assisted them in their clean-up duties to buy us some time to finish our last few pitchers. Back at the hotel, to our dismay, we discovered that no one had made provisions for after hours...and the evening was over. The weather on Friday was beautiful. The Thursday crowd was joined by the Friday arrivals for the traditional lunch at the Cafe 210 West. Two new daddy's "Pood"(two time and washed up champion) and "V-Bag" (Defending Champ). Expecting parents "Sluz" and Julie (Defending You Da Babe champ). And normally Thursday night regulars Rick(no knickname yet) and Leslie. At the course, the Banner made it's debut with only a few typo errors. "T-Bag" led the scoring with a 78, followed by "Pood" ("I haven't played all year") and Mark D. with a pair of 81's. "Sluz" scorched the par 3's in 1 under with two pins and two skins. His round, however, was somewhat dampened by the unfortunate breaking of his 4 iron, which would haunt him on Saturday. "Dano" caught fire on the back nine and established himself as one of the favorites for THE FABLED CUP. "Ace", struggling most of the day, was concerned that he would be a favorite to capture one of sports most dubious of prizes, "THE PITCHER"! We continued our Friday night tradition while enjoying fine dining at the G-Man. We then proceeded to Gaff where Grand Stan was back in the booth spinning our favorite tunes. "That's what I Like About You!"; "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights"; "Buttercup"; etc... As usual, there were certain individuals who chose to pace themselves the eve before what is always the biggest day of the weekend. However, "V" stayed past midnight for a change, only because he didn't want to win again. "Monk" was even caught spitting out a large gulp of the golden nectar. Totally uncharacteristic. He was overheard muttering something about an unusually "salty" taste to his brew. Like he could tell the difference. Although he has been in worse shape before. Like the time at the Skeller when the officer with the badge #.....Never mind, it's a long story. Refer to "Ace's" extortionist Legal Defence Fund letter for details (Dec. 1993). And so the second evening ended, again no after hours party, only "grilled stickies" at the Diner. We must be getting old. Saturday morning came way too early. Who made these tee times anyways? For the first time in two years, the weather for the championship round was perfect. There was a severe storm the night before, but the Banner held strong with only minor damages. Then the field of 20 "You Da Man" and 5 You Da Babe contenders began their quest. "V" led us off as the reighning champ, and smoked one down the middle. He was on his game and ready to defend. We were joined by a special guest, as Mark the Gaff owner was in the foursome. At the 18th green, the gallery got larger and larger and the drama continued to heighten with each group finishing. The babes were there to lend their support as well. When the last putt was holed, we had a tie for the third straight year. It was now a two man race between "Sammy" and "Ranger" (new nickname, whick will become clear later) with a pair of 69's. So we were off to our second straight playoff. This year's sudden death started at the first hole of the White course. Both players were feeling the pressure and sliced their drives into the driving range. While searching for the balls on the range, "Ranger" was struck in the chest by a shot and went down like a rock, to the horror of the gallery of 30. He picked himself up, and appeared to be ok. The rules committee decided, in the interest of safety, that the wariors take a drop in the rough and play their second shots from there. "Ranger", still a little shaken by the blow, courageously struck a long iron to the center of the green. A remarkable feat given the circumstances. "Sammy" hit his second shot just short of the green. He then shanked his third behind a pine tree and had to pitch out for his fourth. It appeared as if it were over. Then "Sammy's" fifth shot hit the pin and just missed going in the hole for an incredible bogey which would have forced "Ranger" to two putt from about 30 feet. However, it was moot as "Ranger" calmly (NOT!) two putted for the championship. Congratulations to both players for a great round. "Dano" had another close call finishing one shot behind. Rick had yet another Saturday collapse and plucked the You NOT Da Man Pitcher from "Ace's" grasp. Nosal finished the round this year. Julie successfully captured the You Da Babe title for her second straight. For Saturday night we again convened at the Gaff for the biggest party of the weekend. All the Babes were sporting new Lion tattoos on their legs. Mark, the owner, called in and gave us 5 pitchers on the house. As is customary, numerous shots were chugged from The Cup, as it made it's rounds throughout the bar. Rick had a firm grip on The Pitcher for most of the night. Although he shared a drink with "Monk", the only other former You NOT The Man in attendance. "Ace" kept a wary eye on The Pitcher as he thought of what could have been. "Dano" and Joe resurrected their rivalry to determine who does the best Mick Jagger impression. Michelle was joined this year by Leslie for the Hawaii 5-0 floor dance. And finally we were off to after hours at the Day's Inn. At after hours we received a visit from the night manager. After a brief discussion (bribe) he wanted to thank us for our patronage and invited us back next year. We had a minor casualty during the party. While running across the beds to chase down an abandoned mushroom from the pizza box, Michelle fell off and sprained her ankle. She limped for weeks. "Monk" strayed away from the party and fell asleep in the hall outside of what he thought was his room. He learned otherwise the next morning when a confused guest stumbled over him on his way out the door. Closing meetings were again held a Champs on Sunday. Congratulations to our new parents: "Busto" & Leanne ; "Pood" & Sherri ; "V" & Susie ; "Sluzar" & Julie ; "Vita" & Karen Also congratulations to our recent engagements: "Dano" & Val ; "Ace" & Lisa Let's keep it going. Go Penn State!!