ydm-1995

YOU DA MAN 1995

Champion: Mike "V-Bag" Vlassic

Dan & Val,

Hi! How's it going? We had a great time at PSU, but we all missed you guys. Enclosed are some of the pictures we took. We took a lot this year (about 80) and we will bring them all out with us in September.

Golf Highlights:
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Friday (White Course)

We tried to get "Weatherman" (all the way from Atlanta) with the exploding ball, but he didn't fall for it.

"Vitamin" led the way with a 75 (par is 70). The kid from the sunshine state has been playing a lot of golf and has even been competing in various tournaments. He was followed by "Pood" (79), "T" (80), and "V-Bag" (84).

"Ace" (yes "Ace") had the longest drive beating out "Monk" (yes "Monk") by about 1 yard!! I think that was the one fairway "Vitamin" missed all day.

Rick (no nickname yet) was named the most improved player by shooting a 92 on Friday for a net 64. He said that he has been breaking 100 regularly, so we adjusted his handicap for Saturday accordingly.
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Saturday (Blue Course)

There were no potential candidates for the exploding ball.

Nosal joined the field.

The field was truly wide open as a kinder, gentler rules committee awarded numerous, very generous handicaps.

I had the longest drive. There were no real serious contenders.

The front nine was marked by an "on and off", pain in the ass rain that got harder and harder as the day went on. Finally, after only two to four holes on the back, it really cut loose and the rain came down in buckets coupled with thunder and lighting and the course was cleared.

While drying off in the newly built clubhouse, it was discovered that there were only a few contenders ("Ace"- 49, "T" - 40, and "V-Bag" - 44) as the weather had taken its toll.

It was raining extremely hard!!  The next news we heard was bleak.  It was rumored that the course might not be reopened if the rain continued much longer.  Nosal left for the hotel and was not seen again until later that night at the Gaff.

Frantically, the "Rules Committee" met to discuss how to handle such a disaster:

•    "Count the front nine only"

•    "Chug from the cup"

•    "Use Friday's back nine, with Saturday's front nine"

•    "Let "Busto" win again by default since
        no True winner could be determined"

•    "Get the dollars out and form a circle"

•    "Finish the remaining holes on Sunday morning before the 
      closing meetings at Champs."

•    "Sudden death Putt off on the clubhouse carpet"

Suddenly, in the midst of our quandary, as if by some divine intervention, the rains subsided and the sun came out. After pleading with the manager, he let us resume our quest (on foot) for sports most "mystical" prize. So we trodded back onto the venerable grounds (except for Nosal).

It was no surprise that it was a three man race to the finish as "Ace" and "V-Bag" posted a 105 and 86 respectively for a tie at net 70. "T" was off to a great start on the back nine but stumbled a bit after the delay. A par on the par 5 12th after a near eagle and a 3-putt bogey on the 17th and I was 9 over, and a little dejected as I stepped onto the 18th tee. Carrying a 10 handicap, I don't know what it was, but something told me I needed a birdie on the reachable par 5 18th for an 80 to have any chance. Feeling the pressure, I pulled my drive to the right into the trees. I had very small opening and the big tree (which is to the right of the green) looming in my path to the green. Reaching deep inside for the resolve that will someday carry me to the title, I struck a colossal 3-wood which went through the opening and over the big tree (it really is a big tree) and landed on the green, rolling just off the back onto the fringe. Right in front of the gallery of 30 guys and babes (except for Nosal).

"Busto" (in the first group as reigning champion) served as the official scorekeeper and told me that 70 was the score I needed to get into a playoff. I really did need this birdie, and by now everybody knew it.

I really started to feel the pressure now. As I stood over the chip, the normally "mob-like" gallery watched in silence. I thought to myself that an eagle for the win would be just awesome given the circumstances. I struck the chip.

It was headed straight for the hole and appeared to have good speed as the "mob- like" gallery became very "mob-like" and worked themselves into a frenzy. The ball stopped just on the right edge of the hole, less than an inch away from victory. Thankfully, the birdie I needed was assured.

So we went to the first hole for a sudden death playoff. .We all three hit pretty good drives under the conditions with the gallery of 30 standing by. As we walked off the tee and started down the fairway, much to our surprise the gallery followed. All 30 of them (except for Nosal). Yes, by now you figured out that Nosal took a lot of shit for not finishing. They were giving us the customary golf "applause" after every shot.

"Ace" (getting one stroke) hit his 2nd shot just short of the green, and his 3rd just on the front. "V-Bag" missed the green to the right and chipped on to about 5 feet. I hit my 2nd shot on the green. "Ace" putted first and left himself about 6 feet for bogey. I then just missed my birdie for the win and tapped in for par. "Ace" missed his putt and was out. "V-Bag" made the clutch 5 footer for par and the two of us went to the 2nd hole. We both made nice pars on the 2nd and a new champion was crowned.

Rick had his normal collapse on Saturday with something like a 110.

Julie (Sluzar's wife) was crowned You Da Babe with a 50, edging out two time defending champ Michelle's 60.

You NOT Da Man went to Mark Dolan ("Ace's" friend) with a 114? (I think).

You NOT Da Babe went to Leslie with a 76.

Bar / Other Highlights:

When we arrived on Thursday, we found that "Monk" had won "Guest of the Day" and was awarded a free movie and an upgrade to a two story suite. "Big mistake" I told the desk clerk. Later that night, Betsy distracted the night clerk and I took the sign for pictures. Every night after hours were in his and Ace's room.

The Rules Committee held its usual pre tourney meeting with the vote of the night being how to determine who wins "You NOT Da Man". If I remember correctly, we received your phone-in vote in absentia later that might.

Betsy had connections at the Brewery and we were about to be let in after hours, however, her efforts were thwarted when Monk couldn't pass the pencil test.

Friday saw about 26 "You Da Man" and "You Da Babe" hopefuls eating a fine dinner at the G-Man.

At the Gaff everyone was given a ticket for a free pitcher of beer included with the $3.50 cover charge. The only catch was that we had to use the ticket by 10:00, and it was 9:50 when we got there. We have pictures to illustrate the behavior that followed.

On Saturday night, Monk was almost arrested for pissing in the alley off Calder Way, but he got off because the cops did not actually catch him in the act.

Sorry we missed your call on Saturday, but we were all too drunk to know what was going on.

Michelle did the Hawaii 5-0 on the dance floor at the Gaff all by herself.

Notable "No-Shows" (Other than you two)
     Colonel
     Wendy
     Sherry
     Leanne
     Sam and his crew (In Atlanta for a wedding)

Biggest "No Show"
     Joe Santangello. He hasn't returned a call in weeks. 
     The last time I talked with him he said he was going.

Well, I hope this wasn't too long. Take care, and we will see you in September.

Tom & Michelle